Not the Same

I love my friends and especially my family. I know that they love me too. I've never seen so much love and care as I have in the last couple days. I've received advice, comfort, understanding. Its amazing how humans have to ability to pull together when someone is in need.

I've tried to be fair in telling my story. I always show my words as well as his. Am I still being unfair or cruel? Why does everyone say he is a jerk while the two people who's opinions matter most don't agree. I know there is a good man there. I know he's just a little off right now. He also thinks nothing is wrong. The world says yes, but we say no. Am I right or am I being ignorant?

I don't think I'm ignorant. I know he hurt me. I know he treated me unfairly. However, I also know that someday he'll come back. I'll accept him again when he does. How can I not?

Faith. I have faith in him. Faith is a common theme among the advice I received. I must have faith that the Lord knows what is best for me. Faith that His plan is working the right way. I must have faith and lean on Him and Christ. Let Christ take my burdens and cares because He has felt them too. So much faith is required right now. I'm trying to have it.

It's so hard though. I don't understand at all, and that's always been a weakness of mine. I have to know why I'm doing something, and why things have to happen the way they do. I know the Lord knows that. Maybe He's giving me this to grow. Maybe He really does know what's best. Again, so much faith is required.

I went to seminary today with a prayer in my heart. I wanted a lesson that would help me to understand or give me some hope. We started the lesson by talking about follies. We were taught that the Lord loves us even when we mess up and do something dumb. My teacher proceeded to show us a quote that was exactly what I needed to hear.

"The atonement can fill that which is empty, straighten our bent parts, and make strong that which is weak. The Savior's victory can compensate not only for our sins but also for our inadequacies; not only for deliberate mistake but also for our sins committed in ignorance, our errors of judgement, and our unavoidable imperfections" Bruce C Hafen

I learned that Christ knows me. He loves me. And He is completely willing to help me right now. He has the ultimate love. He knows my imperfections, He sees them, and yet He still loves me with all His heart.

I've felt that love today more than every before. I'm not about to admit that the coming days will be easy. No, I know they'll be hard, and they'll be painful. But I know the Lord loves me. I can feel His love. God's love makes me want to try my hardest and become a better person.

I may have lost one man's love, but I found the perfect fatherly love. The Lord's love is not the same. It is better. So much better.